Bottom line: Look for the main substance of contention
and explore positive ways to make the comments or
criticism improve your future performance and actions.
In previous posts, we mentioned “tee-ups” as a verbal “tic”
to be alert to when a person wants to harm you or your
reputation. MindTools blog offers some tactics to defuse
the situation and make a creative outcome.
We can always do things in better ways, or address
weaknesses or mis-perceptions whether intended or
taken out of context.
Mindtools indicates remaining calm and displaying
respect and attention to detail is first. Expressing
things in your own words and confirming intention or
Offer an openness to other positions, sometimes it can
be useful to summarize and state a forward-seeking follow
up action. Where do we go from here?
Mindtools emphasis on maintaining confidence, offering
that your awareness of this can make you more effective.
Many times criticisms will be from third persons and you will
not be able to address them directly. Nonetheless, remaining
calm in the face of words of criticism makes the critic even
more full of contempt. It may mean to you that no clear
logical resolution is possible and you should move on.