Never thought a lot about this topic,
assertiveness, related to leadership.
It seems to be relevant.
Was directed to an interesting article
and research on the topic by Daniel
Ames at Columbia…from the Columbia
“We encourage some of our students
to focus on their listening behaviors.
For other students we draw their
attention to their aspiration point in a
negotiation, encouraging them to set
higher goals for themselves.
But we’ve found that it’s not just about
behaviors but also about expectations.
People who are high on assertiveness
expect that if they eased up, they’d
lose a lot of their gains. What they
don’t realize is they would maybe lose
a little bit of ground but gain a
tremendous amount of rapport,
respect and trust that can create
gains for them in other ways.
People who are low on assertiveness
often exaggerate the perception
that if they push back, their partner
won’t like them. What they don’t
realize is that if they push back,
their partner will actually regard
them as entirely reasonable and
intelligent, and it doesn’t destroy the
relationship. One of the things that
we’ve found very effective is
encouraging people to test these
assumptions and see what happens.
A lot of our students find that once
they’re focused on testing those
expectations, their behaviors fall in
line and start to bring them the results
that they want.” [from the article]
Interesting. Would be interested in
conversing with him!