Let me share some insights gleaned from recent eBook by
Michael Nir, Silent Influencing, that offers meaningful
guides enhancing our communications and interpreting
others combination of verbal and nonverbal messages.
- Use a “cluster” of signals, gestures and “emblems” to
provide clearer messages. In other words avoid choosing
to interpret one nonverbal element in interpreting another’s
views, thinking or opinion.
[”steepling one’s fingers” is a ‘gesture,’ while “stroking one’s
chin,” as if thinking about something, is an ‘emblem’.]
- When there is an apparent contradiction between nonverbal
signals and words of speech, many choose to find stronger
meaning in the nonverbal signals. Think of a person shaking
his head “no” and saying “yes” with arms folded and eyes looking
down to the ground.
- First impressions stick with us and our human tendency is
to confirm our initial impressions, rather than keeping an open
- It is possible to influence thinking, judgment and decisions
by changing simple things like seating arrangements. The
surrounding environment can sometimes make a difference.
- To overcome resistance or reluctance revealed by a silent
and closed and distant person, engagement by enlisting
support and handing them something to induce opening
up, coming closer and agreeing to participate