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12/18/14
Confidence and Habit Stacks. Dealing with Rude behavior
Filed under: Interviewing, Mentoring, Mature professionals, Legal matters, Observ. Trends
Posted by: site admin @ 11:26 am

We added one item of several to a detailed list of examples
of rude behavior
we may face.  This was a (1)hand-out in a
recent seminar that gave examples, (2)elicited how people
commonly respond, then reviewed habit stacks that might
help deal appropriately with situations.

The one added item is cell phone misuse in public spaces
and driving.

Most of the time people indicated their reactions would depend
on the situation.  Most would consider rude behaviors they
face as minor and not worth commenting or considering.  These
behaviors do make a difference.  It is estimated to cost $36B in
workplace situations and $160B in driving situations!

What triggers rude behavior?  It is a form of incivility which
has been a subject here citing the work of P. Forni.  Our
seminar covered (3) causes of rude behavior (4) the spectrum
of incivility, (5) suggestion for what to do, a habit stack.

There has been quite a bit of interest in following discussions.
-  MUD CARDS, see the Habit stack at the end for dealing with
rude behavior situation
s
-  Cite a book by Mark Goulston “Just Listening”  and add
his insights on particular Rude behavior “actors”
-  restate three Forni video vingnettes

This seminar was therapeutic for many, they indicated.  In addition
practicing the habit stack builds resilient confidence and might
be useful in constructing responses to interview questions
which ask for stories in how you deal with situations
.

2 Responses to “Confidence and Habit Stacks. Dealing with Rude behavior”

  1. site admin Says:


    Forni speaks about Focused and Unfocused Rudeness.
    Continued focused rudeness is a form of bullying or
    harassment and is caused by anger or mean-spiritness.

    Causes of incivility
       rushed or hurried
       unhappy, dispossessed or depressed
       stressed 
  2. site admin Says:


    What to do?

    Weave empathy into the fabric of our life.
       Positive attitude, be likeable
       Validate others
       Disagree, but disagree graciously
       Acts of small import
         -hold the door for others
         -welcoming words
         -alert strangers of dropped items
         -look at others and smile
         -ask instead of tell

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