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06/10/07
Cover Letter: Example of what not to do
Filed under: Public Relations docs
Posted by: BlogMaster @ 8:28 am

A member asked me to comment on a
series of Pubic Relations documents he
has used.  Here is the email, then the
document.  A comment follows….
 

Hi Dan,
 
I’m sorry I’ve not been in touch since our conversation
2 weeks ago.
 
I’ve had much extra work to do with my part time job
….
 
I am attaching 3 letters and 3 resume’s.
 
Gx Os was for [an auditor position].  (the position will
not matter, as you will see…)
NE ……[not included]
KC……[not included]
 
Any input you can provide will be helpful and
appreciated….
 
I will also check my e-mail throughout the day.
 
Thank you,

COVER LETTER
GOOD THINGS:  nice spacing on page, no typos
[personal items omitted…]

HEADING OMITTED
                                                   March 14, 2007

 

Gx Os, Inc.

Human Resources Department

P.O. Box 36

Carbondale, MA 08407

      PLEASED SEND TO A SPECIFIC PERSON

Dear Sir or Ma’am        WHAT IS THIS: Ma’am?

 COUNT THE I’s IN THIS LETTER

I read with great interest your advertisement for an ISO
Lead Auditor in the March 4, 2007, edition of The Sunday
Times and ask that you consider me as a candidate for
this position. 
SEE THE ATTACHED COMMENT.

I am currently employed by HNL in Allentown, MA, as
a Technical Specialist.  I am also currently employed
on a part-time basis by American Analytical in
Catasauqua, MA, as the QA/QC Manager.  My
responsibilities with both organizations have included
oversight of the Quality Control Program as well as
working to maintain regulatory compliance with regard
to each laboratory’s Accrediting Organization.  This
includes performing system audits and data review,
writing and updating Standard Operating Procedures,
training coworkers on new systems, and providing
technical leadership in the laboratory.
CAN YOU DO WHAT WE NEED AND
ADVERTISED?


I have also been employed by National Medical
Association in Willow Grove, RI, as a Senior
Analyst.  While employed by National Medical
Association, some of my responsibilities required
that I observe GLP Guidelines in my work.  I also
participated in the development and implementation
of the company’s Health and Safety Program.
WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH
THE JOB?


My extensive experience with regard to quality control
in the laboratory, as well as my desire to confront
new challenges and to take on new responsibilities
has helped me to earn the reputation as a valuable
and dependable staff member.  I believe these
experiences will be a tremendous benefit to me
as I apply them to my work with Gx Os, Inc.

I expect to earn an annual salary of $50,000.
OH NO!  SEE THE FOLLOWING
COMMENT.

I look forward to the opportunity to interview
for this position and have enclosed my resume’
for your perusal as you consider my qualifications. 
Please contact me at home if you have any
further questions. 

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

P J

Enclosure
—————–
Readers, do you think this letter got far?

Dan
1 comment